Carbon Cops

Back in the vainglorious days of Bjelke-Petersen’s reign in Queensland there was a joke going around about how they tried to circumcise Sir Joh, but they couldn’t.

'There was no end to the prick'.

Perhaps it’s time to rewrite that joke for Joolia’s Labor Party. With eighteen months or less to an election, at which time they are on notice to a hiding, it is surely an act of chicanery (bastardry) to continue with programs that will be dismantled upon their losing office.

These programs include the establishment of the soon-to-be useless Flannery Centre, a $7.5 million investment in regional Australia with a ‘distinctly green agenda’.

Designed to do what?

According to the website,

“The centre’s main function will be to educate and empower individuals, workers and business people with the necessary skills and knowledge to cope with the challenges of the twenty-first century, challenges such as climate change, peak oil, population growth, biodiversity decline, water scarcity and pollution.”

Yep, I know plenty of ‘individuals, workers and business people’ crying out for government guidance on how to deal with ‘climate change, peak oil, population growth, biodiversity decline, water scarcity and pollution.’

Down at my local, that’s all they talk about.

‘Why won’t the government help me deal with peak oil?’

‘Another schooner thanks Mac, oh and why won’t the government empower me? I’m so worried about population growth.’

Yes, these are the important questions being asked across the nation.

Apparently, the Flannery Centre will do this through very practical measures – such as regular events and exhibitions.

Yep, that’s practical.

In other words, a complete waste of time.

Although the Flannery Centre isn’t quite ready to deliver ’empowerment and education’, progress has been held up by rain :), the Gillard government is forging ahead, wasting our money in other ways. With the very unpopular carbon tax about to become law, Labor hasn’t been tardy. They’ve foreseen that businesses may have a problem with their increased costs, and may even pass them on to their customers.

Fortunately, the profligate Gillard regime has come up with a solution.

At extreme cost to the taxpayer, they have established the ‘Carbon Cops’. These carbon cops, who have been trained to sniff out any resistance to the new ‘carbon price’, will turn up at your workplace at a minute’s notice should you mention that the price of your goods has gone up due to the carbon tax.

As this is such arduous work, Joolia has rented these fellows a new building to relax in after their carbon sniffing is over for the day. It’s a bargain really, only twice the price of their previous rental, and with the added advantage of it being a five year lease.

Bugger that Labor will be turfed out in eighteen months, but what the heck, let Tony deal with that, he can pay the lease, what do they care?

I mean, it’s a steal at $15,000 per employee. Yep, a steal from the taxpayer.

Thanks, Labor.

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